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As an Indonesian, gambling is illegal in my country, so for the first 22 years of my life, I had never tried it, except gambling with my own life. #JustKidding

The casino was only about 10 minutes away from my place. I went there with my sister and her boyfriend. We tried the slot machines, blackjack, and roulette, but I personally only played roulette. The first thing I noticed was how calm everyone looked while they were playing. Many of them were holding beers and seemed to be having so much fun spending their money on these “games.”

I thought it might be fun to try gambling once in my lifetime. However, I already knew that gambling could affect your mental health and become addictive. I wasn’t sure exactly how badly it could affect someone, but I knew I needed to be careful. So, I decided to try roulette. My first attempt went terribly because I lost $50 in only 10 minutes. I stopped playing and, at first, I didn’t really feel anything. I just stood there and watched my sister play blackjack.

My friend told me that when people play at a casino, they often drink so they can feel more relaxed. However, I didn’t want to drink. At the time, I didn’t really understand why they said that. I was still curious about roulette, so I decided to try again. This time, I won around $200 in less than 10 minutes because I correctly guessed several numbers and colours. However, during the next 15 minutes, I lost around $150 of it.

Basically, I realised two things. First, I am definitely not good at gambling. Second, the tension while gambling is extremely high. The atmosphere felt very intense. My face turned red, my heart was pounding, and my chest felt tight. Before I lost all my money, I stopped playing and went home. Even while I was walking home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the game. That experience made me understand why many people find it difficult to quit gambling. It constantly makes you want to try again and again, especially when you are hoping to win back the money you have lost.

Fortunately, I stopped before things went too far. I left the casino with a small profit, but the experience taught me that gambling is not only about winning or losing money. It can also affect your emotions, your decisions, and the way you think. For me, trying it once was more than enough.